|eflang1037%nid%%nparlJChapter Twelve
Condolences Not in the Presence of the Mourner

A. Written Condolences

History of the Custom: Another customary way to comfort mourners is the writing of “condolence letters.” This allows people unable to visit the home of the mourner during the shiv’ah to express the need they feel to offer their condolences, owing to their closeness to the deceased or the mourner. This custom arose as early as tenth-century Babylonia, as will be described below.
There is no uniform text for these letters. The content and style vary from letter to letter, from place to place, and from era to era. Some writers intersperse their own words with biblical phrases, while others use talmudic quotations. There are those who try to provide solace to the mourner through philosophical statements, writing about the meaning of the death of man and the ways of mourning and comfort one σhhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhokhhok[dddc follow. 
While perusing these letters, the reader will be able to discern the different types of styles and the phrases used to express condolences among Jewish communities in different generations. These were the means to enable people to express a complete Jewish worldview of the way one should approach death.
The “condolence letter” literature as a genre with its own distinctive style has not yet been the object of research. In this chapter we only intend to make the reader aware of another way commonly used in the past, and which is still used today, to console mourners. Here we present a number of letters that have distinctive characteristics, collected from Rishonim, Aharonim, and manuscripts of anthologies of letters; we survey their content and their structure, and we indicate the sources for the quotations the writers used. The letters are presented chronologically.

In general one may say that the authors of the letters came from the culturally advanced sector of the Jewish community. Most of them were not only experts at composition and style but were pious Jews at home in the Bible, the Talmud, and other works of Jewish law as well as thoroughly knowledgeable about the attitudes and language of the Sages.

[1] a Condolence Letter from a Gaon

Author of the Letter and its Recipient — J. Mann in his Texts and Studies presents the second half of this letter (from the end of the sixth tenet) and attributes it to Rabbi Samuel b. Hophni (Sura Gaon, 996–1012). In contrast to this, Rabbi S. Abramson offers the letter in its entirety and discusses it at length, casting doubts about Mann’s attribution of R. Samuel b. Hophni as the author. He feels that the division of the letter into “inyanim” (“tenets”) befits Rav Sa’adiah Gaon (ben Joseph, head of the Sura yeshivah, 927–942). Moreover, other places in this letter use the same language as occurs in R. Saadiah’s 556967661 Emunot ve-DE’ot. Abramson also points out that this is the same writing style as that of Rav Israel Gaon, the son of R. Samuel.
	In any event, Abramson is unable to totally resolve his doubt and cites support for this letter from statements by Rabbi Samuel ben Hophni. He concludes: “If Rav Saadiah Gaon is the writer of this letter, it is not surprising. But if it is R. Samuel ben Hophni who is the author, then we must say that he used the words of Rav Saadiah, and sometimes literally copied them. This is not impossible.” The author wrote this “condolence letter” to a man whose son had died. In Abramson’s view, “the son was not very young, for if that had been the case the writer would not have refrained from mentioning the tenet of ‘the death of the children’ and its explanation. We also know that Rav Saadiah Gaon and Rav Samuel ben Hophni dealt with the issue of children’s suffering and of their death in relation to the theological question treated by Muslim religious scholars.” Abramson also feels that “the recipient of the letter was not a Torah scholar but was well versed in philosophy and literature (= ethics); for that reason we see that the gaon did not quote from the Sages extensively, but put a positive slant on the need to thank God for the bad the same way we thank Him the good. Thus, this letter describes the incident of R. Johanan whose ten sons died while he was still alive. The greater part of the letter consists of quotes from biblical passages and allusions to states by the maskilim and ‘mishpat ha-sekhel.’ The maskilim referred to here were no doubt those concerned with “ethics” (adab) who devoted chapters of their works to anxiety and suffering.”

Content of the Letter — This letter deals with four themes:
A. An a0 introduction consisting of quotations of biblical verses which describe the mourner’s situation at the time of his suffering.
B. The reason for the obligation to observe the laws and customs of mourning (these are actions commanded by the Creator, for which the mourner will be rewardedin the future. Conversely, acts not within the bounds of obligation are distasteful and it is forbidden to carry them out, even in small measure).
C. a person should not say that agony is a natural phenomenon which one cannot overcome, for the maskilim teach a person to discontinue his suffering. If he could not have such inner strength, they would not have so instructed him.
D. Ten basic tenets, with supplementary tenets, which when understood and acted upon properly, can guide the mourner to overcome his suffering, namely:
Tenet one — to acknowledge the existence of God, all of whose actions are just and good; and to refrain from dwelling upon His attributes.
Tenets two and three — to acknowledge the correctness of God’s actions (zidduk ha-din); to acknowledge the rightness of Divine judgment.
Tenet four — to acknowledges that God is the Creator of man and that He holds all souls in His hands.
Tenet five — to acknowledge that we were not created to live forever, and that our goal on this earth is to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, so as to earn a place in the world to come.
Tenet six — to acknowledge that death is the fate of every living thing; it cannot be avoided and there is no deliverance from it.
Tenet seven — to acknowledge that sadness and suffering are part of life in this world.
Tenet eight — one who is mourning the death of his sons or daughters must accept the fact and learn from the ways of the prophets and zaddikim whose children died during their lifetimes.
Tenet nine — to realize that the death of the deceased is for his benefit.
Tenet ten — to accept the belief in the resurrection of the dead (the father will yet dwell with his children).
Included in the presentation of portions of the letter are Abramson’s comments.

Text of the Letter:
21	Should you ask how the worrier is to divert
his anxiety and how the one who sighs is to cease his sighing, you will be told that the worry and sigh can be removed 
by means of ten tenets, some of them basic and some of them secondary to them. The first tenet is that one should know 
that we and [the departed] have a Creator who is the wisest of the wise, a merciful God who is full of mercy, and that He created us with his lovingkindness,	
nsrsXd1239142925	and does what is good for us and what will bring us closer to fearing Him and to performing his service. Thus, if He knows that being
wealthy and having children will bring us closer to holding Him in awe, He will make us wealthier and give us children, and if He knows that 
these will distance us from His service, He will test us with poverty and try us by the death of our children. We must 
turn all our words to Him and not think a bad thought about any of His attributes and words, as it is written: “Wise of heart
and mighty in power — who ever challenged Him and came out whole?”So the man whom God makes rich, should thank Him 	
30	and one who is tested by poverty should also thank Him and bless Him. If his children or his relatives should die, he should take the yoke 
of heaven upon himself for He has acted well toward him. As our rabbis said, “Man is bound to thank [God] for the bad
even as he thanks Him for the good.” 

The second tenet is that we are obliged to know that our Creator 
is just and acts in truth, as it is written: “I know, O Lord, that Your rulings are just; rightly You have humbled me. He has no injustice before him and no evil,” as it is written: ‘For You are not a God who desires wickedness; evil cannot abide with You…’”
So i[f]	
35	God chastises one with physical illness or through the death of his children or through misery or suffering, he should know that [God] has acted just[ly]
with him and did not deprive him of His justice, as it is written: “All the Lord’s paths are steadfast love….”
The third tenet is
That our creator granted us our lives and the breath of our souls with great lovingkindness, as it is written: “Who gave breath to 
the people upon it, and life to those who walk on it,” and whenever He wishes to, He will take our soul and gather our spirit and [the spirit] of our
sons and daughters, as it is written: “If He but intends it, He can call back His spirit and breath.”
The [fourth tenet is] 	
40	Even though we are the fathers of our children, behold their Creator is called their Father, for He is the one who sust[ains] 
them in life and is the creator of their souls, as it is written: “For You are our Father, though Abraham does not know us …” Be[cause]
He is our creator, He rules over us to do His will with us and He possesses us and [our children].
In [his hand] are all our souls, as it is written: “In His hand is every living soul and the breath of all mankind,” and our souls are entrusted to His hand
as it is written: “Into Your hand I entrust my spirit….” 
And the fifth tenet is to know that our Creator	
45	did not create us in this world to live in it forever, but He created us to do what is good and right in [His ey]es for…
that is intended	For the time allotted to us. for the world to come, as it is written: “He asked You for life; You granted it….” This world is like the [week]days
while the world to come is like the resting of the Sabbath to become refreshed on it, as it is written: “But for you who rεvere My name, the sun [of righteousness will arise]” ….The com[mandments], too,
are a path to the world to come and a trail for traveling from this world to the world to come.
The sixth tenet is that we should know that one cannot flee from death and that no living thing can be spared from it
as it is written: “What	
50	man can live and not see death….” And as for our forefathers and our prophets, have they not all died, as it is written: “Where are your fathers
now?….” But some of them will die in youth and some will die as adults and some will die in old age, as it is written: 
“[One man dies] in robust health…his pails are full of milk and the marrow…another dies embittered…”
They both l[ie] in the [d]u[st] ….And we must all die;
we are like water poured out on the ground…
The seventh tenet that we know that the bad things in this [wor]l[d] are man[y]	
55	in it for a life of sorrow they will live, since a rich man will become poor …
prophets and righteous persons without sorrow, for all…
and the eighth tenet is that one who is [m]ourning for his sons and for his [d]aughters is obliged to rely upon the example 	
60	of the prophets and the righteous persons whose children died during their lives…[Aaron]
the chief priest whose sons died during his lifetime: “And fire came forth [from the Lord and consumed them; thus they died]
before the Lord,. Aaron was silent and kept his peace in accepting the judgment of the Lord, as it is written: “And Aaron was silent.” David, too,
fasted and cried all the while the child was alive, and when he died, he was comforted, for he said he would go to his son and his son would not re[turn] to him, 
as it is written: “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept because I thought: ‘Who knows? The Lord may have pity on me,	
65	and the child may live.’ But now that he is dead, [why should I fast]? Can I bring him back again? I shall go….”And as for Job, his th[ree] 
sons died at the same time and he accepted the judgment of his Creator, as it is written: He said, “Naked came I….” And afterwards
                                                                                                    [he also said]
“The good we should accept from God….” The Lord restored him and made his end good, as it is written: “The Lord restored Job’s fortunes when he prayed ….” Thus the mourner mourning for his children should take comfort
.srsid12391429…to be like these prophets who suffered over their children to be like them, and also in the words of 	
70	[R. Johanan] about whom the Sages said that h[e] had ten sons and they died during his lifetime and he accepted the judgment of his Creator.
                                                                                                       and the ninth
[tenet that we should know tha                               t dea[th] is better than life and that the Lord caused them to die for his benefit, as it is written:
                                                                                             “[Your faithfulness]
[is better than life; my lip]s declare your praise.” And the tenth tenet is that we know that dead are destined to live in the future, since the Lord will resurrect everyone, and the father will know his children and sit among them, as it is written:
…. And when the mo[urn]er knows all this in his heart or confirm its, he will forget
[his si]ghs and his worry will go away, as it is written: “When I am filled with cares, Your assurance [soothes my soul].”	

[2] Letters from Erez Israel (Eleventh century)
Presented here are two more letters from the Oxford Genizah collections that were quoted in Joseph Eliash’s article “Yedi’ot al Erez Israel me-ha-Me’ah ha-11” (“Information from Eleventh-Century Erez Israel”).

a) a letter by Sa’adiah he-Haver (the Sage) from Hebron to the Gaon Evyatar Hacohen

Author of the Letter and Its Recipient — Sa’adiah the member of the “Society of the Graves of the Forefathers” that established its location during the eleventh century in Hebron near Me’arat Hamachpelah, addressed his letter to the Gaon R. Evyatar Hacohen, the head of the Erez Israel Yeshivah.

Content of the Letter— In the first part of the letter the writer describes his great joy upon hearing the news that Rabbenu Evyatar had been appointed “Gaon Ya’akov,” during the lifetime of his father, R. Elya Hacohen, who had lived in Fustat, Egypt and died in 1081.
	We present this section of the letter to show that a custom of writing “letters of condolence” to mourners existed in Erez Israel in the eleventh century. The author of this letter did not succeed in having it reach its destination.
	Below appears only the portion of that letter relevant to our topic.

Text of the Letter:
[page 2]
1	When we of “Graves of the Forefathers” heard [of the death] of Rabbenu Eleazar, of blessed memory and for life in the world// to come// I [eulog]ized him with numerous eulogies, and I wept for him with a great and bitter weeping and we made
the Sabbath day for him like the Sabbath of Lamentations and I wrote condolences to Egypt through my son Abraham, but the Holy One, blessed be He, did not provide an opportunity for him to go there to offer condolences to our master the Gaon, nor to provide heartfelt condolences. May the heart of the Gaon	
5	and the heart of our Rabbi, the head of the Bet Din be consoled, and may [God] bless you and hear my prayer for you in this holy place Amen. 	
b) a condolence letter to Elijah b. Evyatar Hacohen
Author of the Letter and its Recipient — This letter was written to Elijah the son of the gaon R. Evyatar Hacohen who lived in Tyre. Eliash notes that the identity of the letter writer, its sender, and the place from which it was sent are not known. We can only assume that the letter was sent at the end of the eleventh century or at the beginning of the twelfth.

Content of the Letter — The letter is replete with flowery phrases in Hebrew and biblical verses and deals with the following themes:
An opening — Citation of biblical verses which contain acceptance of Divine judgment (zidduk ha-din). 
Blessings, condolences, and wishes for a good and long life.
The bad tidings about the death of R. Zadok Hacohen severely hurt the writer.
Condolences to R. Evyatar and R. Elijah Hacohen, that they may have the privilege of finding comfort in the rebuilding of the Temple when sadness will turn to joy.
An appeal for forgiveness from the gaon that no group had come from the writer’s community to offer condolences, since the pathways were treacherous by sea and by land (one must keep in mind that this was the Crusader period).
Since the entire letter concerns condolences, it is presented here in full.

Text of the Letter:
	Proclaiming that the Lord is upright, in whom there is no wrong.; I will clothe priests; The Rock! — His deeds are perfect. His ways are just…. The righteous man perishes yet no one considers. Woe is me! I am become like leavings of a fig harvest. God is righteous in all his ways, and gracious in all His works, Consolation and grace, relief to [my] sadness and the bindings of [my] wounds; good tidings …approaching salvation. Removal of pain, sorrow, sighing and agony. Consolation of the good tidings for Zion and then light and joy will be [the lot] of our master from the Lord of hosts to console your heart…. May his seat be established forever with dignity; a long life with good and pleasant things; atonement of his cherished one, his son…. 
	We have been informed of the harsh tidings that pain the heart and weaken the spirit concerning the passing of Rabbenu Zadok Hacohen of blessed memory. The Lord is witness that we are sorrowed, trembling and anxious. May his portion be in the Garden of Eden in the company of the righteous. This decree [and news of his death] made the body and soul burn, distanced joy and passed from us all respite. [His death] stupefied our hearts; we became as fools; we became poor and sullied; it was as if our possessions had suddenly sunk. He gathered his roses and perfumes; there remains no cluster to eat …
	We are a ransom and redemption for the glory of our revered teacher — a light unto Israel —Elijah ha-Kohen, the fourth [of the group, that is, the fourth generation of this dynasty], may [our consolations] be a shelter for him, let the pure light relieve him and gladden his heart, the life of our master, the ga’on, a prince of the people in Torah. May he be found worthy of the building of the Temple and the gathering of the scattered sheep [Israel]…May he turn sorrow into abundant happiness and joy.
God will make known the suffering and the crushed spirit of the afflicted soul… who acted out of decency and steadfastness in Torah, the greatness and holiness of our leader and teacher, our master Elijah ha-Kohen, head of the yeshivah Ge’on Ya’akov, of blessed memory, with the utmost humility. May the zaddik and his splendor… assure him his place with Abraham, Seth and Jacob. May He who dwells in the heavens have mercy upon him; may the living God fulfill for him to sustain us in life. 
	[Members] of the community — as part of what they are obliged to do — cleansed their hands and said, “blessed be the true judge.” Were it not for the conditions on the sea and land and the weeks on the roads...the servants would have presented themselves…@391429
The God of Israel will keep away from him all forbidden things … redeem him and atone him, our master the fourth…and the tribulations of time.
	[Additions to this letter, at the top of the page]
	Our venerable teacher Elijah the fourth, may my King and Shepherd watch over him… may he be engraved in the law of uprightness; may he be strengthened; may he be cleansed of any iniquity, may he be saved from the evil eye and may he be inscribed in the book of life… [The complete text of this letter in Hebrew may be found in Or ve-Nihumim, pp. 136. ff.]

c) Condolence letter from Eli ha-Mumheh b. Abraham to Hesed b. Yashar upon the death of his son
a letter of condolence from the eleventh century (Ms. Budapest-Kaufman 143), published by A. Scheiber in his Geniza Studies.

Author of the Letter and its Recipient — Eli b. Abraham, known as Ha-Mumheh, wrote a letter to Hesed b. Sahl Yashar Al-Tastari, on the death of his son Yashar. Hesed was one of the leaders and wealthy members of the Egyptian community and in close contact with the family of the caliph. He was one of the most important members of the Babylonian community in Fustat at that time and was closely involved with public affairs. R. Hai Gaon exchanged letters with him in 1038, and they sought to offer support to R. Sahlan Aluf b. Abraham, the spiritual leader of the Babylonian community. We know nothing of the circumstances of death of his son Yashar, but Hesed and his brother Abu Sahd Abraham died unnatural deaths.

Content of the Letter — a short letter, it begins with a salutation to Hesed the senior and statements accepting the Divine judgment, and concludes with tenet               s of accepting Divine judgment; in the middle are words of placation and consolation.

Text of the Letter:

a1	Consolation is sent in reverence to the holiness in…
Mar Rav Hesed the elder the valiant, May his rock and redeemer protect him	
b1	The rock — His deeds are perfect, yea all his ways are just and good	
5	[in as much as a] king’s command is authoritative, and none can say to him, “What are you doing?”
[You are righteous] O Lord; your rulings are just
[Your commandments] are always fulfilled. And long life
will [replace d]eath. The repose of life will replace a sigh
[and all g]ood. Renewed power and heart. In reverence to his holiness
[ Φarrsid1781117 Hesed the elde]r, the dear, the important, and may he watch over him 	
10	[his rock and his redeemer watch over him and and may he re]lieve the anxiety from his heart and may he console him
[in his mourning as] he promised as [a mother comforts her son] so I will comfort you; you shall find comfort
in Jerusalem,  	^clbrdrb
15	[Comfort for the r[uin] that has befallen us upon hearing the tidings
[that we have heard] and the great agony upon the death of his cherished one [that is, his son]
[We grieve most sore]ly over him. But it is fitting and proper that we accept true
[Divine Judgment from Him] who transmits and does not break
[His covenant] for any of Hiscreatures, where there is one [fate]	
20	[for all of them]. The servant [must not] complain against his Lord for 
[in Your hand i]s everything. “The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away, [blessed be]
the name of the Lord.” All is on loan, and He may again renew its stock. May the Lord] accept all prayers for [the departed].	

[3] Condolence Letter — Rabbi Zemah ben R. Solomon Duran (Algiers, Fift%nnthcwZKKhmW century) 

Author of the Letter and its Recipient — R. Zemah wrote the letter as the opening of a responsum he addressed to R. David Hacohen, who lived in Granada, on the death of his brother, who was apparently also known to R. Zemah, and was close to him. Finding out about the death of the brother shocked and greatly saddened R. Zemah.

Content of the Letter — The letter is divided into 25 sections dealing with the following themes: 
The writer describes the physical pain and suffering he underwent when he learned of the death.
The emotional storm and thoughts of the writer.
44352850 The gloom and fear of death that strikes the “cedars,” in contrast to the existence of the evildoers who are compared to those who are “wicked yet well off.”
Feelings of anger and anxiety for those dear ones who have fallen in the net of death.
The writer complains about the injustice in evidence — “the evil person for whom things are good,” in contrast to the righteousness of the zaddik and the evil that befalls him.
Lamentations and yearning for the deceased brother.
“The rightness of D369459860ivine judgment” — all according to God’s will.
The writer takes comfort in the faith that the soul of the departed shares the fate of the souls of the righteous and af0 is bound in the bond of everlasting life.
Consolations and salutations to R. David Cohen and his family, with expectation for comfort in the building up of Jerusalem.
An abridgement of the letter is presented here, divided into sections (the notes cite the sources used by the writer). (See Or ve-Nihumim, pp. 139–143, for the full text.)

Text of the Letter:
Granada to R. David Hacohen, May God preserve him, son of Jonathan Hacohen, 
May he rest in Paradise. While he was there his brother passed away, May he rest in Paradise. Before I replied to him I wrote him these words of consolation:
1	I am hamstrung. The strings of my heart fester and are destroyed. They are displaced, they stumble in judgment. My pangs and throes have become stronger and harsher.! 
Most of my inner spaces  are filled with cares,ootnrte  	Psalms 94:19: “When I am filled with cares.” as are the feelings in me and my thoughts in my heart, and as a fire burning a forest, burning swiftly across. [My cares] have made a crossing, [leaving] embers still glowing. 
All faces turned ashen; ashes bound up with bitterness. Their brightness and their astonishing roar is as young lions, [as] the terror of a king, indeed a great terror. Panic fell among the cheerful cedars. Those Boazes [are now]  worthless, shorn, despised. Despite their lowliness…
»siU1781117 	

[4] Carmi Family Condolence Letters 
The letters in this section originate from one extended family, the Carmi brothers, a prominent Jewish family in Italy whose members filled positions as “state appointees” — the highest level of Jewish leadership. They lived in Cremona, in the northern Italian region of Lombardy, in the second half of the sixteenth century. J. Buchsenbaum collected and annotated the Carmi family letters in his book devoted to them. Tee condolence letters we have chosen are only those written solely as “condolence letters” to mourners, which can serve as examples of the form and writing style common in that period for this type of letters.
	Most of the letters are not signed, and a few bear truncated signatures or initials. Buchsenbaum feels that the writer who collected the letters intentionally blurred the names so that others could not identify them. It was customary at that time for writers who were members of a social group to refrain from explicitly using the names of their friends and acquaintances.
	The first three letters cited were composed as laments and consolation for the death of a Carmi uncle, Jekutiel Hacohen, who died in Tammuz של"ב) 1572). This was most probably Jekutiel b. Abraham Porto Katz, the father-in-law of Menahem Ottolenghi of Lodi. a relationship was forged between Saul Raphael Carmi and Jekutiel Porto through their wives, who were apparently sisters.

a) Condolence letter to the son-in-law of the deceased
Author of the Letter and the Recipient — J. Buchsenbaum feels that the writer of this letter is, perhaps, Abraham Carmi, the third son of Saul Raphael Carmi, whowas addressing the son-in-law of the deceased.
Content of the Letter — The letter deals with four themes:
1.Opening statements and admonitions to the departed’s son-in-law
2.	Eulogy
3.	Lamentation
4.	Condolences

Text of the Letter:

1		To my dear relative, may God protect and preserve him, Shalom.
	I know that for your livelihood God has sent you to Latisana (a town in Veneto), as it is written: The sun rises, and the sun sets:
	And as our Sages, of blessed memory, have said: “before a person dies, the master of his house is appointed.”
	Now I must console you. In any event, to halt the flow of words I cannot, for my spirit is pressing  upon me, for bitter mourning I have felt upon the death of your father-in-law, of blessed memory.
	He was the foremost one in everything involving holiness. Surely, all Jewry will weep for him as 
	they wept for Aaron the Priest, may peace be with him. Indeed, he was a descendant of Aaron, having performed deeds of Aaron, and he will find his peace. May    he rest in peace with all the other zaddikim in Gan Eden, and because of this, in my lamentation over him I said the following lines: 	
10	lines from Takhkemoni
השר אשר לו בין צבא רום מחהה              לבי לפרודך מדוכה נענה
אתה מאור עולם ותשכון מחשך                כן השכינה בערפל תחנה
ואני מאנה הנחם נפשי, כי נהפכול עלי צירי.
	I have known you as a man of words, your words have kept him who stumbled from falling. Pray that your consolation will appease my soul and the soul of our brothers and teacher who are steeped in sadness in my name. May it be that the words of your consolation run while I am still alive, and that I will remain	
15	     alive thanks to you, and may your reward be doubled from the Heavens. My teacher and rabbi, may the Lord watch over him. [I pay my] respects to you. Were it not for the illness of his wife and eldest daughter, he would have lived long enough to lament and console you, in the same way that that he was joyous in his letter to you about your finding your match, for mazal tov, amen.
     May you have peace. Vercelli, 4 Menahem ab (5300) לפ"ק [=1540].
Wishing you deliverance of consolation, your relative Anonymous רפ"א	

b) a consolation letter to the deceased’s brother
Author of the Letter and the Recipient — One of the sons of S. R. Carmi wrote this letter on the death of Jekutiel Hacohen, to Jehiel Porto, the uncle of the sons of S. R. Carmi and his brother Jekutiel Hacohen (the deceased). The writer uses quotations from the Bible and Talmud. From the letter’s contents one can see that both the writer and the recipient were well versed in Jewish learning.

Content of the Letter — The letter deals with six themes:
1.	Describing the magnitude of the tragedy
2.	The inability of the writer to provide consolation 
3.	 Apology by the writer for rousing the mourner’s sorrow
4.	Words of lamentation and lament
5.	A request that Jehiel Porto should send him the lamentation he recited about the deceased
6.	 Blessings and conclusion

Text of the Letter:

1		My distinguished Uncle, may God protect and preserve him, 
	What can I compare or liken to You? To whom can one liken Me, to whom can I be compared? I suffer,V your honor.
	As vast as a house is our rupture, and it consumes half our flesh. If so, how shall I console you?
	“He made expiation for himself” as it is written. Revenge shall be far from my thoughts, perhaps pain has seized us, agony like a woman in childbirth, I will not 	
5	     find respite until the light of my eyes is gone. Until now I have acted foolishly, to bestir his eminence over 
	his dead one and to remind him what has been decreed that it should be found. Indeed, my heart wrenches inside me and my innards 
	are wounded. I cannot refrain from coming to lament %n your honor and to tell of my great sorrow. I call upon trustworthy witnesses to attest to this poem, that it should be as witness for me, that you will not be forgotten 
	from my utterances as long as I live. I will bitterly lament my discourse.	
10	Alharizi Takhkemoni

	Servant of the Lord, distinguished Jekuthiel	
15		And now, thank the Lord, I know that your honor did not refrain                from bewailing him with lamentations, and moans, and sounds. May you give me from the garden and orchard that you planted [i.e.,: send me the lament you gave. Author], so that they may be totafot between my eyes and for a remembrance in the pages of the letter. I remain in the vale of tears, yearning for salvation from the Lord. The wound	919088465
20 		of our smitings He will heal, as He swore to us from on high, so He will fill us with consolation. You, my ancient King, may he make you the highest and a blessing on the earth.
Lombardy, the month of Menahem AB… from the groveler in dust and ashes, grandson of his honor,
 פלו Cremona	

c) Condolence letter to a brother over the death of a brother-in-law
Author of the Letter —The writer is possibly Saul Raphael Carmi.

Content of the Letter — The letter deals with two themes:
‏א. 	Eulogy and lamentation over the deceased
‏ב. 	Concluding statement with the blessing of the True Judge.

Text of the letter:

1		I have verily heard, and my being has trembled, over hearing the tidings; no spot of my flesh is sound, my heart is awhirl.
	He has left me alive but the light of my eyes is also not with me, for we have lost a verdant olive tree, fair, choice fruit, from among the descendants of Aaron. For the mountains I take up weeping and wailing, for the pastures in the wilderness, a dirge, my eyes shed streams of water over our great misfortune. I do not have the strength to console, instead of me now may 	
5	     your strength increase, my brother, to console me with the good things, for the exposition of your words gives me light. Even so, after what I have heard, that one blesses over the good, I will bless softly, in a whispering voice: Blessed be the True Judge…	

[5] a condolence letter from a son to his father

Author of the Letter and the Recipient — The author is unknown. From the letter’s contents, however, it seems that a son is writing a condolence letter to his father (upon the death of the father’s sister). From the letter we learn of the son’s worrying that his father should not cause himself too much anguish when mourning. This is the first letter found from this period that concludes with the consolation phrase: “May the Lord comfort you among the other mourners of Zion, Amen.” This phraseology is not common %n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n%n condolence letters from this period.

Content of the Letter — The letter deals with three themes:
‏א. 	Description of the writer’s sadness upon hearing the evil tidings
‏ב. 	The advantage of accepting condolences over becoming mired in mourning
‏ג. 	Expressions of condolence

Text of the Letter:

1		It would not be believed would it be told how great was my sorrow, and my body was seized in terror. I could not find no rest, and I could not
be quiet, day and night, my groaning served as my bread, my roaring poured forth as water, when I heard
	the bad tidings that God has taken the righteous woman, your sister, of blessed memory, and her soul will be gathered to Him. If
I come with praise to speak to your heart and your consolation, my master my father, may God protect and preserve him.	
5	     What shall I do today with empty consolations, not for succor and not to benefit but only to sadden. So I will briefly mention to the honorable, that condolences have two good characteristics — joy in this world and good recompense in the World to Come; and mourning has two bad characteristics — loss of recompense for hardships [i.e., there is a reward in the World to Come for suffering, while one who mourns
     too much, who does not lovingly accept suffering, loses that reward] and punishment for overanxiousness.	
10 		To an intelligent one as yourself this is sufficient. He who fences in calamities will fence in our calamities and say to our woe, enough, and console us among the other mourners of Zion, Amen.
	22 in the Omer, הש"ם] 1590], one who is steeped in unrest, your sighing son.	

[6] Condolence letter over a daughter’s death

Author of the Letter and the Recipient — One of the sons of S”R Carmi to their cousin, an anonymous KahaZ (Kohen Zedek), was a melammed (young children’s teacher) in the household of Menahem Ottolenghi (the brother-in-law of Jekutiel, the oldest child of S”R Carmi) whose daughter had died. The letter was written in 1575 (של"ה).
Content of the Letter — The letter deals with three themes:
‏א. 	Commiserating with the mourner’s sorrow
‏ב. 	Awareness of the fact that that the mourner bears his suffering with love and accepts the Divine judgment eases the uneasiness of the writer
‏ג. 	Words of consolation

Text of the Letter:

1		Listen well High Priest.
	We have heard the tidings and our innards are in turmoil over the death of your Honor’s daughter, may her soul be bound up in the bond of everlasting life. Our bowels are overcome with heat when we think of the sorrow befalling your Honor because of this.
	After we have realized that this is the way of all mankind, and recognized that your Honor’s wisdom is great,	
5	     and that you accept these tribulations from the Lord with love and accept His judgment. By blessing him for this bad in the same way that people bless Him for the good, we have been assuaged and accommodated ourselves to the Lord’s will, by our entreating the glory and splendor [of the Creator], so that His mercy will fill this gap in your Honor’s house and from the homes of those who love his name. He shall write and sign the name of your glory along with the name of all the members of his family and his relatives in the Book of Good Life.	
10		Those who are in sorrow at your Honor’s sorrow and who take consolation in his consolations, his brothers-in-law and those who love his name…	

[7] a Condolence Letter over the Death of a Mother-In-Law

Author of the Letter and the Recipient — Though neither the author nor the recipient are known for certain, we do know that the letter stems from Cremona since it mentions “He-Aluf Ashkenazi” (R. Eliezer) who lived there until 1576. This is a short condolence letter about a woman who died well advanced in years, and there is no need to offer other extensive words of consolation.

Content of the Letter  — The letter deals with two themes:
‏א. 	Shock upon hearing the evil tidings
‏ב. 	Condolences 

Text of the Letter:
1	I grew very faint and felt crushed by the disheartening news that your elderly, saintly mother-in-law, of blessed memory, has passed away. And knowing that your honor is like an angel of the Lord, I shall not offer lengthy condolences with
empty words, but only implore you to not be overly wrought with grief, for she has died at an advanced age, in the fullness of years, and would that it be that no one would die before reaching that age.	

[8] Condolence Letter over the Death of a Granddaughter
Author of the Letter and the Recipient — Moses Carmi (the younger son of S. R. Carmi) writes to his father-in-law R. Isaac Foa (a resident of Reggio and one of the most important rabbis in Italy in his day). The time: Kislev 1571. (The writer uses quotations from the Talmud, language not found in other letters from this period.)

Content of the Letter  — The letters deals with two themes:
‏א. 	The writer apologizes that even though he is “of junior years” he has ventured to write a condolence letter.
‏ב. 	Sadness engulfs everyone owing to the pain of R. Isaac Foa.

Text of the Letter
~rnone 
1		Arioch
	The consolation of a foolish Babylonian such as myself is almost tantamount to blasphemy. I am young, and what can I say and how can I console you?
 My dwelling [i.e., my body], in a time of distress and the upheavals of the times, turns round and round toward your holy house. I know the distress of your soul, for I am with you in your distress.	
5	     Thoughts concerning your honor disturb me for the radiance of your countenance changes.781117  Outside the sword of the earthquake dealt death to your wisdom; into the house stole death through the windows of your cherished granddaughter, may her soul be bound up in the bond of everlasting life. The chambers of his heart show great alarm for the men of his redemption and his extraordinariness in Ferrara; the supports of his insights are paralyzed, and he cannot express his sorrow, for our brothers and teachers steeped in sorrow	
10	     in Ferrara, unless the strength of the shepherd increases, to grant them mercy before their return, and to have mercy on them..	

[9] Example of the writing of a condolence letter in Venice (sixteenth century)
Author of the letter – R. Solomon ben R. Joshua Alt Shul, in his Megillat Sefer, includes different styles which had been collected for the purpose of practicing correct writing, and as the author writes in the introduction, its purpose is “To train young men’s hands to write to one another in lofty language.” That is, these were the accepted writing styles in that period. Also appearing there is a special style used for condolence letters.
Content of the Letter — The letter deals with three themes:
‏א. 	Lament over the deceased and sharing in the mourner’s pain
‏ב. 	Prayer for the deceased as well as for the living family members
‏ג. 	Condolences consisting mainly of accepting the Divine judgment

Text of the Letter:
	Lament for One Moaning the Loss of a Loved One	976240078
1		I lift my voice in crying and wailing and moaning like the ostriches. I will give 
	no respite to myself and tears will γh flow from my eyes. Night
	and day I will cry with you. At noon I will be embittered that the Lord has taken from you 
	the cherished hart. May his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life with the Lord 
	Our God. May all the rest of the family live a long life, amen. Pray be it that with me you will take comfort and give thanks to the Lord for all of His deeds, for we are the material and He is our Creator and what can you say to Him and what can you do?
	And you, sir, do verily know that we are all bound to bless Him, for the Lord has given and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord: and He may add as He wishes. 
	N.B. the writer
	accepts his sufferings with love, and his end will be to the good. Your respected servant.	

[10] Condolence Letter to R. Moses b. R. Joseph Mitrani upon the Death of His Wife

Author of the Letter and the Recipient – R. Elazar b. Johai (Hakham from Tiberias, sixteenth century), one of the hakhamim who gathered around R. Mitrani (who at the time the letter was written was apparently a mourner himself), wrote a condolence letter in 1567 to R. Moses Mitrani who lived in Safed, upon the death of the rabbanit (his wife or his mother?). These statements are found at the beginning of a responsum addressed to R. Mitrani over the question about leaving fields fallow, in which many citations from the Bible are interwoven.

Content of the Letter 
The letter deals with five themes: 
‏א. 	An apology and allusion to the writer’s situation that he himself is a mourner
‏ב. 	A prayer for the deceased
‏ג. 	Condolences to Rabbi Moses b. Joseph Mitrani 
‏ד. 	The importance and urgency of his query to Rabbi Moses b. Joseph Mitrani
‏ה. 	A conclusion including wishes for long life

Text of the Letter: 

1		His splendor fills the earth, his honor the Rabbi, may God protect 
	and bless him, and since one cannot enter the palace gate wearing sackcloth, I sewed over
	my skin, I buried my glory in the dust, that for my iniquities I have been disgraced, and I stood 
	silent; I was bowed with gloom,7like one mourning for his mother. And one who needs consolers is not able to console,	
5		I relent being but dust and ashes,  to write words of comfort over the death of the rabbanit who 
	has passed on. And now I come in short to pray to God, the Ch onsoler of Zion, may she go to rest 
	with unworried, secure ladies. May the consoler of Zion and the builder of Jerusalem in His mercy give him to drink of the cup of consolation and build for him in Israel a faithful home; great will be the glory of this
	latter home. And now my Lord, the cause of the holiness of the land, makes me ready to remove my sackcloth from upon me,	
10		and to wear clothes of triumph, to come before the king to plead to him, over a true and humble thing; justice
	did I don to (i.e., in order have you) instruct me, to cast light regarding the laws of lands lying fallow for
	we rely upon everything being in his hand, and for everything regarding the commandments depending upon the land of Israel, the lovely land, that 
	You made great
	with great waters, and You raised up over all deeds, and You planted it like a cedar of Lebanon. I have but one request
	from my lord that I will ask, that you not make my answer long in coming, since it is a time-linked commandment, 	
15		and I will tell the Rabbi what I am seeking and what I have found and examined as far as I could, and the Rabbi with his fitting knowledge
	will separate the wheat from the chaff since I did not have Kaftor va-Ferah. I am certain that you will guide me well. The question is: Please teach me, a Jew who hired…” 
ώh 	and concludes his question: I will wait for God, I will beseech him, may He inscribe for a good life him and his descendants’ descendants, and may he have many years over his domain, he and his children among the Jews, as there is the soul of the wise, also the pious in the heaven, and like a submissive soul to serve the service of a living person. Praying for his welfare
	to the living God. The young man Elazar ben Johai.	

[11] Condolence Letter to a Mourner Steeped in His Suffering
Author of the Letter — R. Samuel b. R. Elhanan Jacob Archivolti, rabbi of the Jewish community in Padua, Italy (from 1568 until his death, 26 Adar 5471 [1611]). For his volume Ma’ayan Gannim, he wrote and edited fifty letters and for twenty-five of them he included the replies.
	The letter printed here is unique in that it deals with both with rebuke as well as condolences. The writer reproves the mourner for being too deeply steeped in his anguish and has reservations about the divine attributes using a metaphor from nature to prove to the mourner that after the tragedy that has befallen him he must take encouragement and anticipate better days. 
Content of the Letter — The letter deals with five themes:
357852581 ‏א. 	Participation of the writer in the mourner’s sorrow and expression of the hope that the mourner will be given the strength to bear his anguish and be able to becalm his turbulent feelings.
‏ב. 	Sadness upon hearing that the mourner in his distress is having reservations about the divine attributes.
‏ג. 	The Lord is patient, but when the appointed day arrives He will levy punishment.
‏ד. 	It is the way of mankind to grumble and it has become so habitual as to be second nature.
‏ה. 	After the bad, it is the turn for the good to come, and the mourner must look forward to it and desist from his anger.

Text of the letter:
a person writes many words to comfort his fellowman in his time of sorrow
for death has stolen, God forbid!
1		I lift to you my eyes flowing with tears for want of
respite, for anything I propose is impossible, and there is no power
that can annul what has been decreed to roam the sea, the roiling sea of your perplexities, to raise the banner
in the tempest, the tempest of your self and your soul. May this be a comfort for your soul,	
5	giving you power to bear the supreme reproof until the Lord looks down and beholds to restore your fortunes
	and have mercy on you; He will bear your ire, He will cast light on your forces as dark as the ice
	of the the perplexities; He will assuage your anger, He will calm your soul, setting it aright, and direct your heart to 
	His abode. My witness is in heaven for I am in agony over the bad 
news
	I have heard, for I am benumbed and crushed, and distress increased in my abode 	
10	like grief in your courtyards and agony in my heart like a moan because of your idea. I was saddened by your suffering 
and even more by your wrath. You have begun to have reservations about God’s 
attributes, leniently, by saying that all the good which you have been graced with for many 
a day was taken from you in the prime of her life. It is the way of man that 
723469861if he sins against His creator and makes Him angry, a thousand years in his eyes and He, with His mercy, will patiently	
15	bear his guilt and when His wrath shall come upon the appointed day and time, man shall be humbled and 
mortal brought low, when He rises to dictate to man and to judge him, 985111546 [the man] will lament, and his soul will bitterly torment him and he will be ruled by it. For if a good man would understand his foundation when 
he leaves the oppressions of the world, he should be happier on the day of his death than on the days of his birth (perhaps one should say today).
This habit has become second nature to him and just as he cried and raged upon leaving his mother’s womb, 	
20	with his going forth to a more distinguished, important place than where he had been, so he will be obligated	
******	
 [pages 16–17 of the letter]
1	by his nature to complain on the day of his death, since he too is flesh desirous of material things. Even worse than this, there will be saddened over him the hearts of those who know him and are yet 
still alive. Can a man be of use to God? The burden of his complaints will be burdensome to him when his anger 
comes upon him, and a man's feet are responsible for him when he time comes; they lead him	
5	from far to live in a place that he wants whether consciously or unconsciously. 
How can a man rage against God, for He, the most high, rules the world
justly
and nations with equity. If man be overwise, he should cry at birth,
he should rejoice at the expiring of an old man, for man is destined to labor from birth, and an elderly person will perish seeing 
good. Have you never heard that the air darkens before the dawn?	
10	After it rises, the sun spreads the feathers of its wings and [shines] like a groom coming forth 
from the chamber. After the sun rises, the cloud dulls its splendor. After
the cloud, the air becomes warm. After the heat come thunderous torches
and noises agitating the earth and those in it: after the thunder a tempest
rages. And after the tempest, the sun rises and all illness 	
15	and distress will be gathered, and the shadows flee, and they will do no more harm. Man then goes out to his work, and shepherds my sheep
as thsy said, Let them praise the Lord for his steadfast love, His wondrous deeds for mankind.Yea, all who live in the world 
and inhabit the earth, for whom dust is their origin, together rich and poor will pass 
over them as happens in these days in their time. The people sitting in the dark of their mother’s womb, light shined on them, and it is their birth and the days of	
20	their childhood. After childhood come the stage of youth, after youth they go through the prime of life. After the prime of life, they will bear the paths 
of old age. After, after old age, they will reach the edge of hoary old age. After
hoary old age, the time of affliction arrives. After affliction they will come in ripe old age to the grave. 
And just as they who lived until now wait to die, so they now die to see eternal	854775807
25	life of light in the God’s Torah in the land of the living. These are the limits
of our ways and for them we should thank the Lord for the past. To gladden his heart in the present	
	and to pray for the future. And now my brother set your thinking to thank the Lord, remove the anger from your heart, and divest yourself from evil, lest it be a snare within you, and may God comfort you with the comfort of Zion, Amen, may it be so.	

[12] Condolence Letters by Joseph Hacohen (15th century)
Author of the Letter — Joseph Hacohen (author of Emek ha-Bakha) of Spain, lived in the first half of the 16th century and wrote these four letters of condolence. The first two letters were written to his father-in-law, R. Abraham Hacohen, rabbi of the Bologna community after the death of his son (that is, the brother-in-law of Joseph Hacohen), who died in the region of the cities of Rimini and Imola. (This is stressed in almost the same phraseology in the two letters, “and I say, let there be no dew in Rimini and no rain in Imola. For there fell the shield of warriors, the crowning glory of the young men” [patterned after 2 Samuel 1:21: “O hills of Gilboa — let there be no dew or rain on you.”] The second letter, similar to the first, was apparently written for fear that the first did not reach its destination (the two letters have identical stylistic elements). The later two letters were written to his nephew, Zerahiah Halevi, a physician in Voghera, at the time of the death of his father, Joseph Halevi (that is, Joseph Hacohen’s brother-in-law).
	All four letters were, of course, written by the same person, but we must pay attention to the significant stylistic differences between the first two and the latter two. The first letters deal with “untimely death,” so more than half of the first consists of lamentations and wailing, and only in the later section are there soothing, comforting statements. Joseph Hacohen himself suffered harsh tragedies twice in his life, when his firstborn son Joshua died at the age of twenty, drowning in a river on the 9th of Tammuz 1540 , and the death of his other son Isaac when five months old, in 1541.

Content of Letter A — The letter deals with three themes:
‏א. 	Lamentation and wailing over the deceased.
‏ב. 	Zidduk ha-din (“the rightness of divine judgment”) — “The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away.”
‏ג. 	Prayer for the deceased and condolences to his family. 

Text of the Letter$:
Prince and worthy of Israel, the leader of the Diaspora of Israel, my teacher, my father-in-law as my distinguished rabbi, 
Abraham Hacohen, may God preserve him, in Bologna	
1	Prince and worthy of Israel, the leader of the Diaspora of Ariel, my teacher, my father-in-law, may the Lord bless him. I looked forward to peace and there was no good
in the time of calm. Behold, your writing horrified me for there is no balm in Imola. Can no physician be found there, for why was    my suffering brother-in-law, may he rest in paradise, not healed?
Let there be no
dew in Rimini nor rain in Imola, for there has fallen the crowning of	%nw 5	youth, for I call them Abel-shittim, for there fell the shield of warriors
…, and we had a day of wrath and scorn and time tossed arrows 
of hardship like crumbs. That strong person passes away over, this I eulogize and wail 
over
the creation of the Lord. Cheap and worthless stillness to a land planted by the finger of God shall come up to fell us,	
10	over these my eyes flow with tears and my soul is mourning and moaning, my
cheek wet with tears. How can we plead, how can we prove our innocence only to bless Him who gives and Him who takes, for all is 
from Him, and against our will we live and die. If time erred, and it shows us such a thing from He who is near 
to all who call Him, who helps all his creatures, we ask to remove tears from our eyes and to sate 
us with perfect joy and his soul He will hide in the light hidden for his worshipers that He has bestowed	
15	upon His angels and hosts, and those who are near Him He will comfort and He will repair this breach among Israel for life, and so on….	

Content of Letter B — The letter deals with three themes:
1.	Lamentation and wailing over the deceased.
2.	Zidduk ha-din (“the rightness of divine judgment”) — 
1. Death is the way of the world;
2. Death is a trial for the righteous;
       3. “The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away.”
3.	 Condolence and prayer for the deceased. 
Text of the Letter:
1	Prince and worthy of Israel, the leader of the Diaspora of Ariel, my teacher, my father-in-law, may the Lord bless him. I looked forward to peace and there is none, for the writ of your honor startled me, it destroyed my rest, hounded me when I heard that the apple of our eye has been taken away;
for
this my heart is sick, my eyes stream with tears, and I fall prostrate, saying, there is no dew in Rimini and no rain in Imola, for there fell the shield of warriors, a glorious diadem of the young men. Behold I am calling them Abel Shittim for there he cast away the bitter, impetuous time, give half the burden of his hardships like crumbs. If a strong man will leave us land as an inheritance, death will pluck us, while with a cedar planted by the finger of God, one shall come to fell us, over these my heart is sorrowed, and my cheek day and night wet with tears. This I will take to heart, that this is the way of the lowly world, and that there is no escape from it, a time to cast away agony and a time for gathering.	%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nbclbr%nb|Prnone |trpaddr108
10	For will not our Creator discern this, and His emanations? On the angels He casts reproach, for they quarreled as did the armies of the heavens, and the great lights withdrew their brightness. God put Abraham to the test. What more can I say, and how can I justify myself, only by saying, “the Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” I ask that He take away tears from our faces, and fill us with all good, and keep his soul in the bounds of life and give comfort
to his loved one	
15	And may he close this breach in Israel for life, Amen. I will not go on at length except to disperse salutations after bowing and the proper prostration to my lord and to all who accompany him, from young to old
and S.	

Content of Letter C — This letters has six themes:
‏א. 	Lamentation over the deceased.
‏ב. 	Words of conciliation to the mourner:
1. Death is the way of the world.
2. The Lord becomes sanctified by those close to him.
‏ג. 	The consolation in death is that there is a reward in the World to Come for the activity of the deceased.
‏ד. 	Prayer for the deceased.
‏ה. 	There is no reason to increase mourning and wailing.
‏ו. 	Words of support for the mourner and his mother

Text of the Letter
To my friend, the joy of my heart, His Honor, Zerahiah Halevy, may God protect and preserve him, son of Joseph Halevy, my                                                               brother-in-law, of blessed memory, in Voghera                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               in Genoa.
1	My faithful friend and dear one, pious one. My eyes are spent with tears from having heard the evil tidings … regarding your dedicated and punctilious father, of blessed memory. How can I offer support in this case, which has hit like a target aimed at an arrow? Childhood is a bad time for this one, an evil disease devoured him, torn by a beast and he is no more, for God has taken him. This I will pay heed to for it is the way
of the world, a wheel that comes round. From the defeat of mortality there is no escape; by His close ones He will be sanctified, our Creator and His angels will grant glory, and who will say to Him what He should do? When asking Him for the spirit he blew in our nostrils, the body will return to the dust from which it was taken, and the soul to God who gave it. In this we will find comfort, for the act of vanity, forsakenness, and lack, for the salvation of worlds
we do have in the house of the King, the fruit of our deeds we eat in this world and as a fund for eternity forever that is unending.	
10	And what can be done except to beseech the Lord that he should store his soul with the other souls of his pious ones and clear away tears from our faces, for what gain is there in more mourning and wailing and eulogizing, sackcloth and ashes, [for we] go to him, but he shall not return to us. So, please, my friend, I have written that there is nothing new, young or old. He is there, for that is Man, and Heaven forbid that we should sin against God. We must only accept the Divine Judgment, for He is just and upright, and He can kill us if He should but wish. Blessed be He. 	
15	Now, the joy of my heart, listen to my voice: wipe [the tears from your face and gird] you loins like a man and be strong and of good courage, and may your heart be with [your bereft, sighing mother] who is mourning 
the husband
of her youth and console […] days and the poor […] I. and I […]	

Content of Letter D — This letter treats six themes:
‏א. 	Lamentation over the deceased
‏ב. 	Words of conciliation to the mourner
1. There is no escape from death.
2. God is sanctified by those close to him.
3. The deceased leave a blessing behind him.
‏ג. 	a prayer for the deceased and condolences to the mourner
‏ד. 	There is no reason to go to excess with mourning, since we will join the deceased and he will not return.
‏ה. 	Accepting Divine Judgment
‏ו. 	Words of consolation to the mourner and his mother

Text of the Letter
To my friend, the joy of my heart, the honorable Zerahiah Halevy son of my sister, may God protect her, Shalom.
1	My God-fearing close companion. My heart is broken, for Shaddai has made my lot very bitter. I cried “aha” since from the defeat of mortality there is no escape, young and old, He will be sanctified by His close ones, and through His angels He will cast reproach. In this I will find comfort, for the act of yanitv, sadness, and lack, 
for
the salvation of worlds, my heart is in the house of the King, by his soul leaving a blessing behind, and what can be 
done	
5	except to beseech the Lord that he store it with the other souls of his pious ones and grant consolation to the pious
soul,
master of our Torah, your father, of blessed memory, and that he wipe away the tears from our faces, for what benefit do we gain from fasting and wailing
nd eulogy sackcloth and ashes, to mourn for him, while we will go to him, and he will not return to us?
And you, too, my friend, do not raise your voice to say that all is over; that which was decreed, God has accomplished. For there is
nothing
new; everything comes from the earth and returns to it, and far be it from us to sin against the Lord. We must only
accept	
10	His Divine Judgment for He is righteous and upright. He could kill us, if He would but wish so. Now hark to my voice, and wipe the tear from your face and gird your loins like a man, be strong and of good courage, and console your mother, my sister, who is sighing and desolate, and who mourns the husband of her youth. As much as I can, I will be for her
and for you
my friend, my companion, a brother and son, and I will favor you whenever I am able…	

[13] Two Letters of Condolence from Venice, Italy (early Seventeenth century)

a) a Condolence letter on the death of a brother

Author of the Letter — the name is not clarified. The date and place of the letter: Venice, 24 of Menahem [Av] 5377 (1617). The letter offered condolence on the death of a brother. Either the letter writer, the sender, or the copyist is apparently R. Judah Aryeh of Modena. The orthography is a practiced Italian hand and difficult to read. Most of the letter is based on biblical verses.

Content of the Letter — The letter deals with the following topics:
‏א. 	The sadness felt by the writer upon hearing the evil tidings
‏ב. 	Praise of the deceased
‏ג. 	The death of a righteous person lleaves a mark
‏ד. 	Accepting Divine Judgment
‏ה. 	The consolation the soul finds reposing in the Lord’s sanctuary

Text of the Letter:

1	Long enough have we endured wailing, bitter weeping,a1  drinking of the bitter root.  bad news
makes the bones feebleand when the news came of the capture of the Ark of the God, the eyes of all Israel were on him, the breath of our life, the Lord’s anointed, the glory
of the generation and its splendor, our master and sage, your brother, of blessed and pious memory, the sun shall be dark from his leaving us
and the stars withdraw their brightness, for our stronghold has been stolen, the father of all who sit in tents and amidst herds of Torah, 	
5	teaching it as Law, highly regarded by the Jews, he alone remains of the healers. The healers pulled him to his [eternal] sleep. Where is the one who could count? Where is the one who could weigh? a lion of the company.
Woe to the generation that has lost its provider and woe to the ship that has lost its pilot. His booth has fallen, his hedge has departed, calling him “Repairer of fallen walls, restorer of lanes.” Oh, that my head were water,
my eyes a fount of tears: it is not sufficient to cry for the righteous person, he is gone, all the house of Israel 	
	shall bewail and the boughs will drip with moisture, one who is worthy of palm-groves stretching out over a river and spring 
waters, the death of a righteous man from any place makes a mark. Not only in the family 
or tribe, in every city and in every province, but in all the Diaspora of Israel a great mourning
for the Jews, with weeping and wailing. Go forth and see if the pain will increase greatly for a small gnat 
such as I, the day for which I boasted. My heart is convulsed within me; terrors of death assailed him.	
ς15	He does not let me catch my breath, for all toil there is some gain. For a brother
trodden is more formidable than a stronghold like the bars of a fortress. About all of you I know that your strength is spent
on account of your groaning, yet this is not too baffling for me, even by your wisdom
and your discernment that you know there is a judgment for this applies to all mankind, [to] the greatest of giants though he grows 
as high as the sky. Prepare your hearts for the will of God and to Him you shall express gratitude and bend your knees and your assurances	
20	soothe his soul who when on high will become refined in his good thoughts and deeds, of blessed memory, and He will make the tabernacle of Shiloh, the tent He hadEF set among men,  to dwell in the light of the Lord, dwellings of refuge, for thus says the Lord, for sufficient are our woes and your woes and in Jerusalem is my consolation: Venice 24 Menahem 5377 (= 1617).

b) Condolence letter from a Grandson to His Grandfather

Author of the Letter and Its Recipient — The letter opens without any name or address and appears as the continuation of folio 155a. The orthography is identical to that of the previous letter. From the signature of the letter it is apparently the grandson who is writing to his grandfather (although in the body of the letter one does not find any expression of familial relationship of grandson to grandfather).

Content of the Letter — a collection of biblical citations that express sorrow and agony. The letters deals with the following topics:
The sorrow felt by the writer upon the untimely death of his relative
Accepting the Divine Judgment
Words of condolence

Text of the Letter:

1	 The sound of a mighty force, from a[p]athy(?) tidings saying for death has entered our fortresses to cut off the beloved of my soul
and my upright, faithful, beloved, sweet and pleasant, my pain plunged, and my body is stricken and withered like grass. pangs gripped me 
like a woman in travail I clapped hand on thigh, I refused to be comforted, how could he wither before his time, his boughs flourishing?
a blameless, upright man who fears God, beloved on high, pleasant below, when I think of this, I pour out my  soul	
5	of our loving together, wretched and humiliated, I walked about with him as though it were my brother. In the past I had a comforter 
who might revive my spirit. Alas! The Lord in His wrath has shamed a man for whom these are for him, he dies, he is brought to the house assigned for all the living.
The hair of my flesh bristles when I mention him, my bereavement, crushing my bones, even as I wail and cry out 
to you Lord who I know like an arrow pierces your liver and your honor will come to the dust from exalting such a wonderful 
precious gem as this, for who can go to the divine while his mouth be filled with arguments? We will accept both good and	
10	bad, and we concede in the midst of the event that He is the fashioner, He is the determiner. Let us bow down and kneel, and bend the knee
He will send an end to darkness and to all disasters,, ; he will protect those who remain … May his soul be bound in the bundle of life, he will give to your worthy self 
and to all accompanying him here with us today, goodness, and blessing, and life, and peace
his grandson and his servant in all his tribulations
that he undergoes:	

[14] a Letter of Condolence to a Brother-in-law on the Death of His Wife — Sister of the Writer (Italy, 17th century)

Author of the Letter and Its Recipient — Isaac b. Manoah Lattes, from Cuneo, in the Piedmont region of Italy, wrote this condolence letter in ש"פ (1620) to his brother-in-law Jonah b. Solomon Crescas upon the death of his wife (sister of the letter writer), who passed away in Adar 2 of that year.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
Content of the Letter — The letter consists of biblical and talmudic citations that the writer applies and adapts to the poetic style he uses to euologize his sister Luna, whom he metaphorically compares to the moon. The letter deals with the following areas:
‏א. 	Description of the pain and sadness over the death of the sister.
‏ב. 	Lamentation
‏ג. 	Eulogy
‏ד. 	Words of love and consolation.

Text of the Letter:
Copy of a letter I sent to my brother-in-law, our honorable teacher Jonah, with the lamentations
that I recited over the passing of my sister Luna, May her soul be bound up in the bond of everlasting life.

1	My dear, esteemed brother-in-law, how difficult it is for us to suffer this separation, like the darkness that has has no dawn, as beautiful
as the moon with none to compare, this wise and pleasant one, the glory of the daughter of the king is inward. My sister, your wife — may her soul be bound up in the bond of everlasting life —is gone. No matter how much I may wail
and be embittered with a broken heart and bitter voice, over this great loss, I will not be able to withhold from sighing my sighs, I will groan silently over you and over us
and I will sorely cry — for the one who has left never to come back. Surely I weep on account of this beauty which is going to rot in the earth, and indeed I say, summon the dirge-singers, let them come. 
My being melts away, my strength is spent because of my groaning, over the ruin of the daughter of my people. My head is light, my arm light, my eyes a fount of tears,	
5	flowing water over the misfortune, I lament for my soul is satiated with bad tidings, I grieve with wailing, and I declare this lament, that I recited over her in stanzas,
to lament over her openly in the markets and at the street corners, for it was the Lord’s doing. From the sorrow of my soul it shed,  I wrote myself a weary scroll, I will lift up my head 	
8	and say in a weak voice:	
9	Declare a lament in bitter voice; for this anguish is as of a woman bearing her first child:	
10	When the sun set and it was very dark, for it became le-yonat elem rehokim:	
11	My brother come to the gate; the wound embitters us:	
-65	My moon is gloomy, and the second Adar turned to mourning and wailing:	
13	The third in seven plus ten; the diadem has been taken from me:	
14	In every facet she was good; she was like the fruitful vine:	
15	In the year shin peh [1620] from the creation; her passing making me wrathful 	
16	Passed Luna, the fount of discernment; to give of her fruit in the palace of the king:	
17	Though I might wander a great distance, I will find none as worthy as she.	
18	I am saddened because her splendor faded away; I cry out, I complain, I moan	
19 	I would counteract her being crushed; had she not been taken while still young.	
20	For this my heart is faint within me; I say woe unto me;
	
21	I am overwrought, I cannot speak, I roar from the groaning of my heart, when my spirit fails, selah, and in my eulogizing, I become overwrought about her, with tears flowing as pure olive oil.	
22	This crushing, virtually crushed to less than the worthy size, an olive was gathered from the topmost branch, we labored and had no respite, two berries or three as the gatherer and beater of the 	
23	olive, …	
24	Our thoughts, agony, and sadness will find relief, saying, this will comfort us, all of these joined forces in Vale of Weeping, and one would call to the other, then one said thus 	
25	and another said thus, there we wailed and wept, until all my soul was spent I had no spirit any more, for your ruin is as vast as the sea, and the Lord gave me to drink	
26	hemlock and weeping, and the pain increased greatly hu…, and to you my brother, what can I give you as witness, what can I match with you to console you?	
27	I am in need of consolation, my Lord will heal the crushing wound. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise has preserved me, that the deceased of good reputation is happy 	
28	and worthy is his portion, that his illness was not as his youth, but this do I call to mind that the neighbor women call her there, saying a bundle of myrrh 	
29	has left us, and of the bounteous crop of the moons we have tasted: she was seven and twenty years old, a year for each day, a year to each day, were like the days of the moon;	
30	in clouds of myrrh and frankincence, of bright shining face and eyes shining like the moon, of great charm and Rabbi Hanina [play on Heb. word hen- charm], and the homiletic meaning will be understood thusly.	

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1	Twenty-seven years of age in sin, at the age of seven in beauty, a God-fearing woman, may she be praised, therefore I have hope that her interests and reward be from God, 	
2	in happiness in the land of living, selah, for her good name and praise, while we for our transgressions survive to groan, she	
3	the pit [of the grave] will be a resting place for her, in the palaces of the Mothers, and my princess, the one who raised me, my parent [mother] will also tell her, “enter in peace, crown of her 	
4	husband,” and the wise women, her mothers, all their bones will say, chanting, “enter, O bride; enter, O bride,” and as Sarah and Rachel long ago did not 	
5	open a mouth, this I will expound for you, my brother-in-law, that your love will not leave us, for our love for you is more wonderful than the love of women and as a peg fixed	
6	in a firm place in each and every time, and with this I will suffice for appealing over my departed one, and I pray to the one who consoles mourners, may He make us whole again 	H5
7	and show us consolation of Zion, where he will comfort us for our agony in the building of his hall and in their well-being among all of His people Israel, and he will fulfill for us the verse, 	626460095
8	saying, He will destroy death forever, My Lord God will wipe the tears away. You shall find comfort in Jerusalem [written at] Cuneo …	
9	In the year 5380 (= 1620) it is most holy, 	
10	My eyes pine away from affliction; my heart is astir, I am like a sea lion; I am the man who has known affliction; 	
11	a wounded gnat Isaac Lattes: your brother-in-law and your servant writing tearfully: reciting the shema…	
13	My master and ruler, my esteemed brother-in-law Jonah Crescas of the Nice community.	
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[15] Condolence Letter over the Death of an Erez Israel Gabbai in Cincinnati
Authors of the Letter and the Recipient — This letter was written by rabbis and leaders of Sefardi and Ashkenazi communities in Tiberias, on 17 Kislev 5643 (1883). The letter is directed to “Pekidei ve-Amarkalei Arei ha-Kodesh” in Amsterdam through whom the Tiberians received contributions collected in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Content of the Letter — The letter contains words of consolation over the death of R. Haim Mazias, the Erez Israel gabbai in Cincinatti, who passed away on the first of Heshvan 5743. The letter deals, among other things, with praise for the deceased and for his many charitable acts on behalf of Erez Israel. The letter covers six themes, namely:
‏א. 	Opening greetings to the community leaders 
‏ב. 	The notice received about the death of R. Haim Mazias
‏ג. 	Lamentation and eulogy
‏ד. 	The good that awaits the departed one
‏ה. 	The community’s pledge for Torah study in memory of the deceased
‏ו. 	Soothing words and condolences to the deceased’s family

Text of the Letter:
(The letter is divided according to the order of the rows in the original.)
B”H 23 Tevet 5643 (1883) 
1	“To the noble one of the children of Israel the pillars and stanchions upon which the Jewish community stands, they are their kings their princes who stand at the ready to the aid of the Lord among the warriors.
To you sirs who are of the high masters, princes, and deputies of the Pekidi ve-Amarkalei Erez Israel who belong to the great Jewish community 
Amsterdam, may He protect it, Amen. Lord, may You protect them and encompass all of them with favor and take them
and bear them forever among the stars with their radiance, may it be His will, Amen.	
5	From receipt of your pure letter, written on the 11th of Marheshvan 5643, we saw that was written, we read the text, and there descended on us a great 
darkness, and we became sorely anxious over the bad tidings that were real, for the reaper has come, the powerful has become chaff. Of the taking away of the ark of the Lord, the righteous rabbi Morenu ve-Rabbenu Hayyim b. R. David Mazias, of blessed memory, born in Biale, 
at the end of the Sabbath, the eve of Sunday, on the New Moon of Heshavan 5643. He who was the gabbai for the Land of Israel among the Jewish community of Cincinnati and the surrounding towns, who served steadfastly many years, seeking the good of his people, and all of his deeds were carried out faithfully,
performed wholeheartedly. During this righteous person’s entire life, he tried to enhance the benefit for the residents of the communities of the Four Lands, woe to the land of Israel which has lost this great man, a man suffused entirely with holiness and piety. For a hakham who has died we have no 
replacment. There is no pious one, no humble one, woe to the ship that has lost its captain. And on the day we heard this bad tiding, shaking the land of Israel 400 parsot by 400 parsot, and so great was it on that day and the sound of moaning was heard. We found angels of peace crying bitterly,	
10	What has the Lord done to us by putting out our right eye? Who will protect us, a leader at our head? The sun was dark when it rose, and the moon darkened, and the stars withdrew their brightness. 
Over this the earth will mourn, and a stone from the wall, writhing and screaming in her pangs, for the kings of Judea and its princes, for them it is fitting 
for the weeping, weeping of the rivers, for them it is fitting to lament as sadly as jackals, as mournfully as the ostriches.
That day is a day of distress and chastisement, a day of calamity and desolation, for there the shield of warriors lay rejected, one in a generation, he is its glory, he is its splendor, as we said in his shadow we will live, like a lofty wall. Because of this our hearts are sick, because of these our eyes are dimmed, that our eyes may run with water, over that very beauty wasted in the soil.
Who can tell all the mighty acts of the Lord, proclaim all His praises, and our voice like the voice of mighty waters to make his voice heard on high. To stir the heart of our fellow Jews.
To hold on toc a fortress of the Holy Land, to have pity on the earth, the dwellers of Machtesh the poor and the wise of Erez Israel, who live in need and sorrow in my dwelling and from excess of work, and daily they will seek Him, and surge to Him from the ends of the earth and faraway seas. Bundles on their shoulders, their vows and their donations
as pledged by each man according to his blessedness, for the four lands of the living, may they be built and set up firmly soon in our days. And it is incumbent upon them to take his word to strengthen their hand (i.e., to support the poor) so that they should do wisely in all that they do. Ask now and see, to where has the chief herdsman gone, and where he has left his flock. They are astray	
15	in the land, scattered to all its corners. His pathways are not known, for a wind blew in him, and he was still in his prime. They called, often to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, to frequent His temple. As the mortal has passed away the pain has grown considerably, but what can we answer? He is righteous
and righteous is His judgment. So declared His wisdom, may He be blessed, blessed is the One who decrees the judgment. May it be His will that his good deeds will be remembered in the world that is all good, and may the soul of our fellow be bound up forever in the bundle of life, the deceased will enjoy the holy fruits of the heavens with the souls of the heavenly Hasidim
who sit before the Lord and enjoy the splendor of His Divine presence. The righteous ones sit with their crowns on their heads. His holy work has passed, and he now prays for his children and                                actions. Let it be for them a shield, an encircling shield. Do not see a sign like this anymore (i.e., pain and mourning). From now on may we be destined for good, and sorrow and sigh flee, and may there be well-being, praise, and joy. In their old age they still produce fruit, they rejoice in their going forth and are glad in their returning, and wealth and happiness at their right and at their left. His produce shall not bend to the earth (may it be the will of the Lord). And for all the people of the congregation he shall make expiation. The Lord be with you, you and your children, may there be well-being within their ramparts, peace in their citadels, may there yet be heard in their courtyards the sound of mirth and gladness (Amen. May it be the will of the Lord). We ourselves clarified concerning that which is obligatory upon us by inquiring of ten talmidei hakhamim from among the scholars and rabbis 	
20	of the Sephardic community and of the Ashkenazic community, and we took upon ourselves the study of the Zohar and passages of the Mishnah in the amount determined by the rabbis for the benefit of his soul, and we lit olive oil upon the grave of the holy tana Rabbi Meir BA’al ha-Nes, May his virtue stand us in good stead, for the repose of his soul, and after the study
we conducted the prayer for the dead for the Rabbi, the Zaddik, of blessed memory, and to differentiate between the dead and the living we made a blessing (mi she-beirakh) over his descendants. And so we shall do, God willing, on the anniversary [of his death]. May it be God’s will that his soul live a happy life and his children shall inherit the land, the cry “Wrack and ruin” shall no more be heard in their land, my Lord God wipe the tears away, He will destroy death forever, they shall never languish again. Their children are with them always and their descendants will spend their days and years well. Length of days, years of life and well being, Amen, may thisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthis all be fulfilled, and as well all the words of the sighing and moaning who sign here in the holy city of Tiberias, may it be rebuilt. 15 Kislev 5643 from the creation, with great strength and peace.”	

The feature common to all the letters presented here is their special style that generally included great shock or an expression of sorrow over the misfortune that had occurred, showering praises on the deceased (the crowns placed on the head of the deceased, which depended upon the closeness of the relation to the deceased, his stage in life, and the status of his family members), a sense of loss and the great void left by the deceased’s no longer being present, statements containing acceptance of the Divine judgment or expressions intended to express the uselessness of excessive mourning, words of consolation and blessing for the mourner’s family. Depending on the writer and recipient of the letter, other topics might be added. 

B. Condolence by Telephone
On the development of the custom — Does one fulfill the commandment of “consoling mourners” through a telephone call? Naturally this type of question could only have been raised in recent generations. The first person to have dealt with this is Rabbi Moses Feinstein (Lithuania–U.S., 20th century), in his work Iggerot Moshe, where he writes: "Regarding consoling mourners there are two tenets:
	First, for the benefit of the living, who are very involved with their grief, a person is obligated to appeal to [the mourner’s feelings] and to console him, and for this people are also obligated to go to the home where the mourner is located.
	Second, for the benefit of the dead, as written in Shabbat 152a: "A deceased person who has no [official] mourners," since in any event we know that where there are consolers, it is of benefit to the dead … this means for me that on behalf of the living mourner, it is possible to fulfill the obligation by means of the telephone as well, but as regards the mitzvah that is on behalf of the dead, it is only fitting that one go there to the place where oold pays condolences, or to the place where he died. Even in regard to the living mourner, it is certainly preferable that when [the consoler] goes there he also honors him, since he himself is also part of the condolences, as in the words of R. Akiba, when his sons died and all the Jews eulogized them… The tenet of honor is not carried out by telephone. Thus, in effect, if it is at all possible for a person to go to the mourner's home, which is the complete fulfillment of the mitzvah, it is not enough to do so by phone. But he does partially fulfill the mitzvah, for if it impossible to go to the mourner's house, such as owing to illness or when one is involved with a mitzvah that he must carry out to the extent possible, he should offer condolences by phone, since there is some mitzvah in thatm and he should not say that since he cannot make it to the mourner's home, he has no obligation at all…and as to the question whether the mourner is allowed to speak on the phone, it is simply that whatever he requires for his physical needs or for those of his household, and for the needs of the minyan, for which it is permitted for him to speak in his home, it is also allowed by telephone. When people phone him to console him, he is permitted to go to the phone and receive condolences. However, as to small talk as well as inquiring about his friends' welfare, or even that of his sons, it is forbidden."
This means, the complete mitzvah is to go and console the mourner at his home, since the consoler thereby benefits the mourner and can speak to his emotional needs and assuage his sorrow; this is also for the benefit of the dead. After the fact, if one cannot make it to the mourner's home, he should console him by speaking on the phone.

The Custom Today — The custom is to console the mourner where he is sitting shiv’ah, but if one cannot get to the mourner's home, he may offer condolences by phone.